FlyEaglesFly
versus Luke’s Donkeys
There comes a time in all men’s lives when they must face up to the reality of their immortality. Now while I may not yet be a man, this fantasy football season has hardened my soul and blinded my heart to the more pleasant things in life as my fall from the high and mighty position of #1 most awesome powerful amazing beautiful and yes, dare I may say “dream team” status after week one has left me in a broken heap of nothingness. I am like a rabid dog lashing out at the hand that wants only to console it. I am like Barak Obama when he found out he was not born in the U.S. I’m like AlGore realizing he lost the presidency because he could not even carry his own state. I’m like Osama Bin Laden the moment he realized that those were not 72 young ladies waiting for him. I’m like Bill Belichick’s perfect season that was not perfect cause the Patriots sucked a big one and lost to the #6 seed from the NFC (actually, wait, that’s FUNNY).
So here I am. My team broken. Nothing to live for. The honorable thing would be to fall on my sword. I’m up against a bunch of donkeys this week with the same pitiful record as me. If I just threw my team off a cliff then at least we would not have to deal with the shame of what is likely to be another pathetic loss and this time to a team as equally pathetic as my own.
But wait...what is that? Yes Virginia there is a Christmas. Yes, the Berlin Wall did crumble. Yes, Dr. Pepper is available in Romania now. NO! We will not lie down and take our beating like a man. We will rise up and fight! We will conquer these donkeys and the ...the...well whatever they ride in on. Because my team is named after the mighty Philadelphia Eagles! And the Philadelphia Eagles are ….wait....crap....they suck too!
Pick: Eagles all the way baby! Die Donkeys Die!
Whistle Blowers versus
The Other Team AKA
Cream Cheese and Bagles AKA
Ochonoshowsucks AKA
too many other name changes to remember
Mr. freaking #%&$*&#@^$%$#@ Dream Team himself is starting for The Other team this week. Vince Young you moron. You singlehandedly jinxed the Eagles entire season. I wish I could just slap you silly. I had mad respect for you and how you stepped up to take care of Warren Moon’s kids and be a father to them. Why did you have to get as giddy as Micah when he sees a piece of bacon and spout your idiotic nonsense about the Dream Team. Thanks buddy. Time to redeem yourself by putting a beatdown on the Giants this Sunday night. If you suck it up this Sunday, you are dead to me!
Pick: The Other Team over the Whistle Blowers
The Golden Hemorrhoids versus The Tiki Warriors
1st Samuel Chapter 5
Verse 1 And the Philistines took the ark of God, and brought it from Ebenezer unto Ashdod.
Verse 6 But the hand of the LORD was heavy upon them of Ashdod, and he destroyed them, and smote them with emerods, even Ashdod and the coasts thereof.
Verse 9 And it was so, that, after they had carried it about, the hand of the LORD was against the city with a very great destruction: and he smote the men of the city, both small and great, and they had emerods in their secret parts.
Tiki Warriors....Philistines....same thing. Whatch out for your secret parts at least!
Pick: Warriors fall victim to attack of Hemorrhoids
Clash of the Titanus versus KOEagles
If KOEagles fell in the forest would anybody know? At 1-9 you make ME look good! That alone is worth an award. I think this week Tom Brady alone could almost beat you.
Pick: Titanus over EagleHaters!
Budapest ExPats versus Stalin's Warriors
Ok....this matchup really worries me. We saw how the CrazyRussians reacted over their opponent getting 6 points for a score instead of 1. I have it on good authority that this week, the CrazyRussians are actually playing for their lives. Check it out.
CrazyRussian enforcer practicing his chainsaw moves for any players that humiliate Mother Russia.
You no score hatrick? I smash your nuts with fiery hammer of death!
Here we have the owner of the CrazyRussians making a very serious face to intimidate the Budapest Expats
And why not root for the CrazyRussians? I mean...they do know how to celebrate like nobody else!
Unfortunately, I have it on good authority that a little bit too much of this is consumed before each game.
So I’m just not sure the CrazyRussians are going to be prepared for a dose of Carson Palmer and the rest of the Budapest Express Train to the Playoffs.
Pick. Expats over KGB
BackInBlack versus Warsaw Dragons
I have photographic evidence that Cliff’s plan this week is to just blind the Dragons with his amazing fashion sense.
Pick: What that is in the pink furry hat...over the Dragons
Budapest Cowboys versus Sharks
Pick....well...see if you can figure it out from the pictures below.
That's my quarterback man. That's my quarterback! <sniff><sniff>..You hear me? That's my quarterback.
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